For some reason, Oliver from Hannah Montana reminds me of pudding.
That's cute.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
pedialite and red bull = repair kit
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I just want you to know IcyHot in the ear is weird. Don't ask.
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
Just got offered a dog by two Meth head's one of which wasn't wearing shoes and continually saying "fuck"
Got with someone dressed up as Allen from the hangover so that's where I'm at in life
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Randomize
