just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I think the duck is in my room. You have no idea how much worse a duck makes a hangover
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
You were fucked up like a footballbat trying to eat gum off your shoe. And that wasn't even the nights lowest point.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
I promised her before I left that I'd make good choices and then got drunk and fucked my best friend and her boyfriend.
Randomize
