I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
girl pulled up to the stop sign, got out, threw up all over my hood said happy thanksgiving then drove off
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
Hmm, peanut butter and Xanax. Next Ben and Jerry's flavor.
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
my liver is dry heaving
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
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