She said her name was "party"
I'm at a crab and wine festival with my dad. He just introduced me as his girlfriend to all of his co-workers. I am so drunk I thought he was serious.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
It's like a squid of pain has attached to my head and it spreading it's whorey tentacles all over.
I mean jail does seem alright, all the free broth you can eat.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
