I'm too stoned for this. I'm Canadian.
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
who was i chillin with last night? i woke up in a storage unit
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
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