Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
You remember those guys we called the police on after they stole our keg? Turns out one of them is a student instructor in one of my classes. Figuring out how best to use this information.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
Just cried because I'm out of oreos. This post-molly depression can go fuck itself.
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
