YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
this boner is exhausting
you never know, standards drop, they turn gay, shit happens.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
Again? Most people check out of hotels, they don't escape from them
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Car sex in a public place. Boo ya.
Randomize
