He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
If you wake up with half a an eyebrow.... I'm pretty sure it was a good time.
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
you're not celebrating your 21st birthday right unless you give a male stripper a hand job, flash the bartender, and win a free vibrator.
How was your night?
Good. I made people cry and run home
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