Drinking non-alcoholic beer is like going down on your cousin.
Sure it tastes the same, but it ain't right.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I think that all guys are assholes, some of them just have less assholeish qualities that we accept in our lives and that we can look past enough to deal. They have to be a pretty special asshole.
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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