Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Ya I painted "STOP TRYING ANAL" on her headboard. I'm sick of listening to her whine through the wall and bitch the next day.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Randomize
