meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
i don't want a singing card. it disturbs my hangover. give me a pack of cigs taped to a bottle of wine and fuck me without a condom. happy vday baby.
since i'm not going, you must continue my tradition of flashing every person there.
Is there a law against that?
Nope not at all. Just morals. But fuck it, this is college, not real life.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
IM A DRUNK BIRTHDAY CLEOPATRA MESS. CELEBRATE THAT BITCH
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
So, I gotta figure when the nurses at the emergency room noticed my new hair cut it means I'm there too often, right?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
