I'm really into asian looking animals
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
JoAnns office is warmer than mine. . .it must be because she has the gateway to hell under her desk.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I use my feet as sexual weapons
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