how can u be prego again
Just saw a girl that looks like Michelle Obama and Im strangely aroused by her. Does that make me a democrat?
Dude, Erin Andrews has a nude video circulating the internet.
Is it any good?
Let me put it this way: I bet Stuart Scott's lazy eye went straight after watching that.
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I need to do something profound in the next three and a half years so that when my kids ask what I did in my twenties I have something to say other than "made bad decisions"
It turns out tequila bombs is really code for straight shots of tequila…who would have guessed?
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
If we don't rescue him from the fat chick soon, she is going to eat him alive and suck the marrow from his bones.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
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