I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
I shall celebrate this moment with a beer conveniently located in the sock drawer directly to the right of me.
I wonder what gingers are like in bed...as awkward as their hair or just as unique as it...?
This girl named her kid Rainforrest. If I die, just know it was from laughing so fucking hard.
Just figured out I can wedge my iphone between my boobs so it stands up at a perfect handsfree reading angle. Clearly somebody up there wants me to smoke this bowl while I watch my bieber videos
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Oh and no more ball pics to my family. Got in a little trouble over that. They have no sense of humor.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I need a good cry or an orgasm and neither of them are gonna happen to me and i'm so frustrated
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
