I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
So I peed on what I thought was a wall while in nashville come to find out while running from the cop it was just a dark tinted window and the while bar witnessed me peeing
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
For Halloween this year I'm going to paint myself in gold, wear a golden toga and sash saying " cunt goddess"
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
dont ever go to laser tag drunk. you will be judged.
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
Randomize
