is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
theres a middle aged lesbian couple holding hands on the bus and a 17 or 18 year old christian girl visibly staring freaked out and audibly praying about it
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
it is 7:54 and i am surrounded by drunk old people. drunk enough that my grandmother and her friend just compared boobs. as in, shirts off, bras coming down. save me.
I made $300 today by selling pizza @ $4 a slice to nerds who refuse to leave the library. God I love finals time
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
