You know its bad when you're praying for a hangover just so you aren't still drunk at work anymore.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
Randomize
