Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
I still can't believe he turned down that threesome with us in central park. He must be really committed.
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I actually cannot wait for your visit. I miss people who make me look like the virgin mary in comparison.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
I wouldn't even cut tickets or put ppl in jail I'd just hand out punches to the mouth and Liam Neeson throat chops
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I made a White Russian but saw how early it was and decided to substitute it for milk in my lucky charms. This is what it means to be an adult.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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