I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I like it when Amish boys stare at my boobs, even tho I can't tell if it's in appreciation or disgust. Rumspringa, mothafuckers.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Anybody can graduate from college sober. You try it while being stoned every day for the last three years. 2.75 baby.
Also barcrawl friday. You ARE wearing a tiara
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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