What tipped you off? The sombrero?
Just met a girl...She is complaining why on facebook you can't have more then one "open relationship"
I dont know how i feel about her from a moral standpoint...
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
i'm sick of coming in second next to bourbon.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
I keep thinking your bag of thongs is a bag of chips. So mad I can't eat them.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
If you hear a loud thud and smell ozone, I may have been electrocuted.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
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