I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
she told me to hold the wheel while she hung out the sunroof and cursed the old lady behind us out.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
You would be married by May if you put half as much energy into getting straight guys as you do into getting gay guys
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Went up to some dude that hit on Laura and told him he has a voice like a grandma. Apparently didnt have muscles or kindness like grandma so can you pick me up at the ER please?
I accidentally brought up how there used to be a big tree in his yard, which I could only have known if I had been Google mapping his house.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
what the fuck happened to the tacos
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
