try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I should be sponsored by Trojan
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
It's official, there's a sex tape of me floating around some high school
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I quit life. I got pulled over on my way to work and they towed my car and dropped me off at work in a cop car
Thank you for letting me get drunk enough to forget he was there tonight, but not drunk enough to make a complete fool of myself.
Look I'm really hungover so let's try this again. In 5 mins you're gonna call me and tell me that you're on your way with xannies, iced coffee and a back rub
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
