Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
Here's the level of my committment: I'm not participating in the Olympic opening ceremonies drinking game. THIS IS SERIOUS.
Dude. The only thing that I use less than my dick is my tennis racket. We need to play.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
Randomize
