I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
we fucked while standing on a ladder. challenging, but worth it.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
Randomize
