I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
I'm drinking and throwing an enormous tennis ball at children. I couldn't be happier.
Hey if there is a better reason to go drink then "I've been fucking robbed!" I have yet to hear one. Also, I've been fucking robbed.
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
Also, I just opened Google to find the lyrics to California Gurls. Karaoke night did us dirty.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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