And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
...Saturday night. Get your dick ready. We are going to go nuts. I want to have sex fucking everywhere.
Sometimes things go your way and sometimes you get hit on by a fat drunk girl.
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
You wanted to go find him and we told you to sit down cause you kept stumbling. You yelled " I CAN STAND!! It's the walking part I can't figure out!"
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
You're a disaster
Wanna date?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
