I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
Cuntadactyl. (n). A pre-historic dinosaur of Mandy-like features that is primarily identified by it's inability to play well with others and overall C-word demeanor. Physically, an unfortunate appearance.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
someone just got arrested on campus...
holy fuck look at all that cocaine
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
My actions are not mine. They are the actions of Patron.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
he passed out in the backyard and we used christmas lights as extension cords for the clippers to shave his head.
If you have been drunk at one point during the day and are going to bed sober that same day, something is very wrong.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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