He wouldnt get hard, then started talking about his ex wife. I literally rolled over and started to cry
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I LOVE YOU NO MATTER HOW MANY BALLS YOUVE SUCKED
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
You leaned over to me in the elevator and whispered "how long do I have to pretend to be sober?"
He told us a story about a time his 80 year old uncle karate chopped a dick in a glory hole.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
