My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Ok, was I really fucked up or was there a chick from Norway in the ice cream shop teaching us Norwegian last night?
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I think I may have just hit a new slutty low! ..... Just purchased the Costco pack of condoms... $9.99/48 pack = amazing deal! The judgement when I bust out the value pack = priceless!!!
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
Randomize
