she said i have a nice penis, i told her only bob saget and god could judge that.
dont worry your back hair reminds me of angel wings
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Well, I just watched him puke into his pitcher at the bar, I doubt he cares about anything other than the fact that he needs a new beer.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
Just scrubbed my teeth for a good twenty minutes. Herpes is afraid of toothpaste, right?
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
There was no eligible dick at the ER. I'm pissed. Looks like "Searching for Strange at the Local Free Clinic" is a no go for the name of our first full length album. On the other hand, I got a dilaudid shot and I no longer feel like I have the worst bladder infection of my life.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
Randomize
