K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
Bro. Some kids just drive-by judged the shit outta me.
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm pretty sure male strippers are the last things I need in my life right now.
He called me at 4 a.m. and wanted me to drive him to McDonald's then drop him off at home. It wasn't even a booty call, it was a fucking chauffeur call.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
I didn't even get crazy off of the coke so everything's fine. Also, I think I might have killed my aunt's dog..
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
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