I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
im sorry i hit your dog last night,,,i didnt even see it
I dont have a dog?
WTF
OMG Im so trashed fishy! im sitting hereon my bed wif mcdonalds n i look like david hasselhoff!!!!!! kill me now
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
So instead of asking me for my number, he asked for my dad's because he wanted to "thank the man that helped create those tits."
I WOULD SERIOUSLY RECOMMEND THE SHIT THAT I AM ON RIGHT NOW
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Breaking news: when you're gone every towel is a dick towel
So drunk last night I reviewed my recent anazon purchase of secret deodorant. Trust me, it was eloquent.
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
