What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
I never had a problem I couldn't slut my way out of.
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
its not fair. if i was a guy, i'd be getting a high five for banging two in one night.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
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