Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
No more tipping the bathroom attendant with your phone.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
I don’t know how to sext. What do you say? What do you don’t say?
Just start quoting WAP lyrics.
Randomize
