i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
I remember all the people and all the acts I just have to match the person with the act
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
Do you think there are other mothers looking at porn in the carpool line?
Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
I wish I could be the kind of drunk Bobbi is... She stumbles around outside at 4am with a broken high heel and babbling about rainbows and getting dick...
Well. I think my red tank top is jinxed. this is now the second time it's gotten jizz on it.
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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