party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
A little girl and i are having a face making battle in mcdonalds
She started it, but I totally finished it.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
We FINALLY fucked. I swear that's the longest I've ever held out for
Umm you met him three days ago....
I said what I said
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
VODKAVODKAVODKAYESSSS
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
I think I'm in love. He's everything I ever wanted for myself, just with a lot more drugs.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
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