you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
So my niece decided to play "lets make shapes out of your bruises" with me and told me that one of them looks like a shark bite. Bravo, sir. Bravo.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
All I know is I was bleeding, she was bleeding, we stole someone's Lucky Charms, and then I made you guys order a pizza
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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