Fuck?...well quicky, i have to study...unless you can read my book while i bang you, then it can last four chapters
I can be that talented
My vagina is so ashamed right now. It won't even look at me.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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