It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
On a scale of 0 to Thanksgiving, there is no amount of food that fights against tequila.
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
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