she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
Well I woke up with spatula marks on my ass and burns on my hands.
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
My backyard is filled with beer cans. You idiots turned our backyard into a redneck ball-pit
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
