i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
So, during a 20 minute shower I spent 19 minutes spinning in circles and 1 minute licking the wall, and it was better than sex. I can't wait to do X again.
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
We had sex last night...... This "Friends" thing is going well.
I just watched two birds fight or fuck. It was crazy. Another bird was watching closer and I know that bird understood what was happening better than me.
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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