i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
New plan: we get a little bit drunk and go to 24 hour fitness and be eachothers wing people so we can hit on in shape hot people at a gym instead of drunk idiots at a bar.
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Just made a Xanax and ginger ale smoothie. Oh Thursday you are good to me..
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
All my friends are getting married and I'm pole dancing in a tattoo shop. I don't know how I feel about this.
They spent thousands on one day. You made $76 in 30 minutes. You should feel great about that.
Randomize
