four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
But I aced my quizzes. Apparently flash card beer pong is an acceptable form of studying.
Somehow my drug dealer is stuck in my air-vent and now everything smells like patchouli, weed, deoderant and sweat.
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
I might go to an NA meeting just to fuck that boy in the bathroom.
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
You don't get to call me bro after you've had your dick in me.
I'm at the gym. I've taken enough caffeine to feel inspired to be a low budget instagram fitness model. I totally forgot my push up bra though
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