i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
You just said we could build a blanket and pillow "fuck fort." Of course I'm never leaving you.
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
I told him if he ever gets a "wink" text from me after 10:00pm to assume I really mean "we should be hooking up by 2:30am"
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
The Olympian is in my bed
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
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