Got a toothbrush?
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
I just had to explain to my 62 year old advisor what "tea-bagging" was in the middle of her lecture. I smell extra credit. And maybe a demonstration.
You know how I know she's ugly? 97% of her profile pics are flowers or animals. And what do we know about pretty people and the Internet?
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
don't let your emotions get tangled in that sexy beard of his.
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
