I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
I just saw her punch a kid in the face.. i always knew she was the girl for me.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
wow. there is a man who hates the post office more than me. he is causing a scene, this is a snapshot of elderly me.
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
Just slather his penis with BBQ sauce
Randomize
