Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I'm okay, they said the swelling should go down in a week. But next time I'm shitwrecked, please make sure to remind me that I can't open a champagne bottle with corkscrew.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
The smell came through my closed door. His farts are made of rendered tires, and apparently, ghosts.
Sorry about the flaming shit on your door
I never thought I'd be in my late 20s and send that text
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
If I had your job the next day id be on the news. And not the good news. Like fox & friends. Nancy grace would have my ass.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
If you don't respond in the next 30min, I'm going to assume your in a sex coma, in jail, or dead... All of which I've become accustomed to, and will follow the appropriate channels of notification once you notify me.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
