ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
I think the world is coming to an end. Earthquakes, huricanes, floods, and now you say you LOVE him. Im building a shelter and going into hiding.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
Just woke up from an extremely erotic dream featuring Steve Buscemi. Now I can't sleep.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
found a note from drunk me saying "don't worry i fed the mice". WHAT MICE?
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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