You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
well yea, now i know i won't get hair in my teeth...
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
It was literally 8 o'clock in the morning. His horniness knows no bounds.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
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