My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
i celebrated the independence of our country by dry heaving tequila all morning. so classy. happy 4th.
Best walk of shame ever. Not only did I not remember his name or the fact that we fucked, they all watched as I tried to get into 3 cars that werent mine
Oh and I threw up on myself...
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I accidentally KO'd a baby in the airport. Thought you should know.
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
I was so drunk that I passed out before I could do or say anything I'd regret. My low alcohol tolerance is like a guardian angel.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
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